Sunday, March 24, 2013

27 Our Journey: Part 8

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 8
 Waiting. . .
Again a supernatural peace but still so hard to wait.
After going through so many procedures and hoping I was pregnant, I wouldn’t even let myself get my hopes up.
I just kept telling myself, if this doesn’t work, we will just do it again. It is ok.
Don’t worry. Just pray.

Finally, the two weeks were up.
I went to the doctor, had the blood work done and then waited a couple of hours. 
My nurse called,
“Honey, you are pregnant!!!”
Oh the joy
The overwhelming joy.

When Nate came home I had a little onesie, a card, and a baby Bible waiting for him.
We were thrilled.
We went and told my parents.
Tears, hugs, JOY.
The next day we told my brothers and sister in laws.
They had been praying fervently for us and answered prayer is so so sweet!

Two weeks later, we went in for our first ultrasound . .  . and heard and saw the sweetest sound in the world.

God’s hand was all over our journey. In the darkest times, it was apparent that he was there. 
Our pregnancy is a miracle. Our baby is a miracle.
God is so good! 
God has heaped blessings on us since finding out that we are pregnant!
The main one being that I am pregnant and due within days of some of my very best friends.
And that I am delivering at the same hospital as two of my sweet friends who are due within days of me!
From when we are due to the excitement people have had over this pregnancy, God has blessed us.

HE is so faithful. God is so good.
We are so thankful.
{Advice}
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Thursday, March 21, 2013

4 Our Journey: Part 7

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 7
We met with Dr. McKenzie for a re-evaluation and she recommended that we move onto IVF.
We had so many questions for her. She was patient, answered all of our questions, and acted like she had all the time in the world just for us.

After tons of research, prayer, and educating ourselves (including having two of our doctor friends get out their textbooks and spend 2 hours talking to us), we decided to proceed with IVF.

I remember drifting off to sleep before my retrieval thinking I cannot believe we had to do this to try to get pregnant.
So many of my friends who experienced infertility say they always ‘knew’ they would have trouble getting pregnant.
Well, my body is like clockwork. . . so much so that it seems like a dream that we had trouble at all.
By saying I can't believe we had to do IVF, I don't mean that we felt sorry for ourselves.
We were thankful that we were given the chance to do IVF. If we had been in this situation a generation earlier, we wouldn't have been able to have kids, short of a miracle.
Thankfully, God gave doctors the knowledge and ability to be able to come up with such an incredibly calculated and perfected way to help couples get pregnant.
Thankfully, we had the money.
Thankfully, we had a 53% chance of success.
Thankfully, we had a patient doctor and patient 'doctor' friends who explained everything to us in layman's terms.
We went through the journey of IVF with hearts of gratitude. 

With that said, I am not going to downplay IVF.  . .
it was hard. . .
physically, emotionally, and everything in between. 
The shots, the blood work, the medicine, and keeping up with everything was hard.
In Nate's words, it was 'daunting.' 
But, thanks to the LORD, I handled it well.
I didn’t have any crazy side effects to the medicine. I was able to give myself the shots. I am organized so keeping up with everything wasn’t too difficult and I thankfully I had a peace and did not go through the emotional roller coaster that so many others endure.
And knowing that our journey could be over and we would have a child was worth all of it.

Nate and I decided at the beginning of that round of IVF, that if it didn’t work, we would just do it again. Not that we didn't have faith in the procedure, Dr McKenzie or in God's miracles, but after having gone through other fertility treatments that I thought would certainly work, we didn't want to get our hopes up. 
 Throughout the cycle I kept thinking 'don't worry, if this doesn't work, we will just do it again.' I can't really explain the peace in knowing that we would do it again. But there was also a supernatural peace. . . that was over both of us.
Some friends and I are memorizing bible verses with Beth Moore this year. My bible verse during this time was “But he knows the way that I take, when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10
I wanted to shine during this time.
We were walking through a valley and I wanted Him to be glorified with every step.
Nate and I kept our eyes on Him and I hope that others saw Jesus through me at Houston IVF. 

I remember getting ready to go into surgery .  . . and not even being nervous or scared.
I had never had surgery before.
Never been put to sleep.
And yet there was just such a peace.
TOTALLY the Lord.
To God be the GLORY.
Everything went well.
Sweet Nate took such good care of me and the recovery was much easier than it could have been. 
And then to wait the two weeks to find out if we were pregnant . . .
{Part 8}
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

1 Easter Ideas

I'm re-posting this from last year! :-) Easter is coming! :-)

I have this song on repeat . . . 
Thanking Jesus for the sacrifice he gave. . .
FOR ME. 
 Oh. How. He. Loves. US. . .
I pray that your Easter weekend is so special . . .
spent with friends, family and, above all, rejoicing in the fact that the Tomb is EMPTY! :-)

Appetizers
Beverages 
Lemonade Sweet Tea
"Easter Desserts" 
Bunny Rabbit Cupcakes 
Regular Desserts that are perfect for Spring 
Berry Trifle
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2 Our Journey: Part 6

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 6 
It was time to move onto the next step. 
A couple of our friends have loved Houston IVF, so my regular doctor wrote us a referral and we made an appointment for a consult with Dr. McKenzie.
From the second we met Dr. McKenzie, we fell in love with her. She was compassionate and explained complex scientific procedures in a way that we could understand. She also experienced infertility herself and used IVF to have her own children, so she provided a unique and special view into our journey.

I actually got the idea of the title of "our journey" from her. I referred a friend and her husband to Houston IVF, and when discussing the different avenues to go down, Dr McKenzie said, "Well, Elizabeth will tell you that it is a journey." 
And it certainly was! :-) 

Test after test after test.

I am so thankful for Nate. He led such a involved role during this process, almost hovering over me. Through every test, blood work, phone call, and results . . . he was right there. Holding my hand and just being the perfect leader of our family.
There was no explanation for our trouble getting pregnant . . .  which put us in the “unexplained infertility” category.

So the plan was to do IUI with Clomid since my body had responded so well to Clomid in the previous months.
(again, Nate completed incredible amounts of research (and there was tons of prayer) before we felt comfortable beginning this next step)

But before starting Clomid again, a preliminary ultrasound showed that I had a cyst and I had to skip that cycle.
At the beginning of our journey, knowing that I had to wait another month would have sent me into a tail spin.
I remembered taking my first pregnancy test and thinking 'there is no way I can wait another month.'
But now, everything was so different.
I had faith that God was in control. There was a plan to help us get pregnant. And, to be honest, it was kind of nice to be forced to take a break from charts, pills, ultrasounds, and everything else that accompanied infertility.

We didn't get pregnant on our month 'off.'

So we moved onto IUI.
The cyst, thankfully, went away.
Everything went perfectly.
My body did exactly what it was supposed to do. 
Again, I thought, 'this is it.' We will get pregnant. There is nothing 'wrong' with us so, of course, we won't need to do IVF. We will get pregnant doing IUI and our journey will be over. 
Two weeks later  . . .
Not pregnant.

Another cycle of IUI with clomid again. . .
Not pregnant.
{Part 7}
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Monday, March 18, 2013

0 Our Journey: Part 5

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 5
Prior to starting any medication, my doctor wanted me to get daily ultrasounds to make sure everything in my body was working correctly. 
A year ago this month, I started to go to the Medical Center for 7 to 8 days in a row to get an ultrasound. I was excited to hopefully fix whatever was wrong! 
But nothing was wrong and my body was like clockwork.

Our doctor said it was time to start Clomid, 
so Nate started researching. 
Nate doesn't make any decisions without looking at all the options, praying about it, and absolutely becoming an expert on the subject.  
And after a period of time, we felt comfortable starting Clomid.

I thought that 'this is it!' Our journey is over! 
It wasn't the highs and lows of earlier. . . but just confidence and faith.
Each month, I spent 7-8 days at the Medical Center for ultrasounds and 
got excited over growing follicles and prayed that one day I would be able to see a baby on that screen.

But Clomid didn't work. . .
month, after month, after month.
{Part 6}
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Saturday, March 16, 2013

0 Bloglovin

If you have heard the news about Google Reader going away in a few months . . . 
I would suggest to start following blogs using Blog Lovin! 
Follow me on Blog Lovin by clicking the icon below! :-)
Happy Saturday and don't forget about the hair tie giveaway by Tiny Bit More going on now! :-) 


Follow on Bloglovin
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Friday, March 15, 2013

3 Our Journey: Part 4

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 4
Soon after receiving supernatural peace from the Lord, I was hit with the question, “Elizabeth, am I enough for you?”  

God does not promise us a spouse, children, health or financial security . . .
He promises that if we believe in Him, He will bless us with salvation, heaven, eternal life, and that He will meet our every need. . .
So from that point on, there were two corresponding prayers in my heart.
God can do all things. 
He can make the rivers part and the storms be quiet. 
He can raise the dead. 
I know, that I know, that I know that he can give us a child.
And so I asked expectantly. . .  
Knowing that He was big enough to grant us the desires of our heart.
Yet, at the same time, I told myself, we are not promised children and God WILL be enough if He says no. So I also prayed that if He did say no and did not give us children that He would fill that hole in our hearts.

After coming to the shocking realization that we were probably not going to get pregnant without medical help, Nate and I began to pray over whether or not we should travel down the road of fertility treatments or down the road of adoption.

For us, we did not have a peace about adoption at that time.
Not saying that it wasn’t in our future, 
Not saying that it isn’t in our future.
I have had precious friends stop at this point on their journey to get pregnant and adopt and I have had friends do IVF 8 times.
But we prayed with open hearts and felt God leading us towards the road of fertility treatments.
And so we started down that path. . . . 
{Part 5}
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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

3 Our Journey: Part 3

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 3
Month after month after month. 
Nothing.
Basal temperature.
Ovulation tests.
Charts. Plans. Hopes.
Doctor appointments.
Tears. Dismay. Anger. Stress. Disbelief. 
We felt it all.

Then months into our journey, God changed my heart.
“Wait with grace, Elizabeth. While you wait, encourage others. Use this time wisely. Invest in your marriage. Love, honor, and delight in Nate. Good will come of this.”

My change of heart was entirely the Lord. 
Nate would agree that his heart was changed too. 

Not saying that our time of waiting wasn't hard. . . but it was different. 
There were no longer huge swings of highs and lows. 
But a steady stream of faith.
Because our hearts were changed, we could weather the attacks that Satan threw at us. . . and there were plenty. 
I could write a novel on the uncouth things people have said to us, 
none intentionally hurtful, 
but so many speak without thinking  . . 
and, yet, we would literally laugh to ourselves when comments were made, identify that Satan was trying to crush our faith, and give glory to God that we could laugh at the comments. 
To look back and realize that I have never cried, gotten upset, or even really angry over thoughtless comments people have made is totally the Lord. . .
Even though we were going through this incredibly tough journey.  . . it was apparent daily that we were not going through it alone and that Jesus was by our side.

But months went by and nothing.  
{Part 4}
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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

1 Tiny Bit More Giveaway

I am so excited to bring you a fun giveaway today! 
Amanda from Tiny Bit More has recently started making these precious hair ties.
Amanda and I have known each other since elementary school but more importantly were Kappas together at Baylor! :-) 
My personal favorites are these cute chevron ties! :-) 
Amanda is giving away 9 solid and 1 print hair ties valued at $17.75! 
She is also giving Elizabeth Ann's Recipe Box readers a discount! 10 hair ties for $12 plus free shipping!! (Just let her know that you are a follower of Elizabeth Ann's Recipe Box!) 
Enter below! 
Giveaway ends Thursday, March 21! 
a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Monday, March 11, 2013

6 Our Journey: Part 2

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road. 
{start at the beginning here}

Part 2
Nothing . . . NOTHING can explain the grief, the disappointment, and the hurt of losing a pregnancy. 
There are no words.

Through those dark days, I clung to God.
Good WILL come of this. He IS Sovereign. There IS a divine plan. HE WILL use this for His glory.
We WILL see our baby in heaven one day.

God is good. 
Even the night that I miscarried, he was good  . . . 
Even though it was the worst night of my life. . . 
even in the darkness. . .
I KNEW that God orchestrated that night perfectly. 
I felt like He said, “I am going to take this from Elizabeth and Nate. . .but she is not going to go through this alone. She will be surrounded by love.”
And we were.
But we were heartbroken.

Nate loved me well during that valley. He is so good at that. . .
Very few people know about our loss. . .
It is even hard for Nate and I to talk about it to each other.

But I truly believe that one of the reasons we go through trials is to encourage and support others who might go through the same or similar trials after us.
God has put people in my path this past year to pray for and comfort after they too have experienced loss.
He is so faithful.

Nate and I encouraged each other with "we weren't even trying to get pregnant and we did. . . surely we will get pregnant again soon"
{Part 3}
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Friday, March 8, 2013

12 Our Journey: Part 1

After over a year of walking through the journey of infertility ‘quietly,’ Nate and I feel led to share our story in hopes of providing connection, fellowship, advice, and prayer for others traveling on such a heartbreaking road.

Part 1
I  have always wanted to be a wife and a mother. I never wanted fame, success, a business, or anything of the sort. I wanted a white picket fence, the June Cleaver 1950s life, and dinner on the table when my husband got home from work.

In high school, I was voted most likely to be a “Memorial” mom.
In college, I loved, doted on, and cared so much about a group of guy friends that they called me Mom.
Fast forward a couple of years. . .
In November 2011, I thought I was pregnant.
We weren't “trying” but we weren't “not trying.”
I remember taking the pregnancy test, waiting those 3 minutes and praying, “Lord, please let this be positive. . . I can’t imagine waiting another month now that I think/hope I am pregnant. I don't think I am ‘built’ to wait another month.”

And it was positive!

Overjoyed doesn't even begin to describe how we felt!
Nate was researching car seats that night and I was planning the nursery.
We were so so thankful!
We told our families.
We planned.
We rejoiced.
And then just a short time later.  . . we lost the baby.
{Part 2}
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